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Monsma Counselling - word image of company name 403-290-1805
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"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"  (The Prophet)
The stark finality that someone we care about has died deeply invokes an intense depth of raw feelings. These feelings can never be anticipated and they are as unique to us as individuals as the relationship we shared with our lost loved one.

Grieving is the unavoidable experience of feelings such as numbness, sadness, shock, disbelief, sorrow, anguish, irritability, regret, fear, loneliness, and relief.

Mourning is an opportunity to express and process our thoughts and feelings with others allowing us to celebrate the life of our loved one. Cultural rituals involving funerals, wakes, memorial services, visiting a gravesite, spreading of ashes, or personally writing in a journal assist in this process.

The loss of a loved one, can throw our lives into chaos for months; love does not die quickly. Unexpected "grief bursts" can be triggered by a familiar experience, song on the radio or aroma of their favorite cologne or food. Allow yourself to experience these bursts without shame or self-judgment.

In mourning we learn to say "good-bye" to our loved one, face the reality of death, and the depths of emotional pain. In time, we begin to restore ourselves and emotionally reinvest in life once again.
Misconceptions about grief:
  • All you need is a year and you should be moving on
  • Tears are a sign of weakness
  • Don't talk about the person who died
  • Distract yourself from feelings of pain with keeping busy
  • Remove all objects or pack away all clothing, etc. belonging to the deceased as soon as possible to prevent occurrence of memories
  • Remembering the person who died keeps you stuck emotionally
  • Refrain from using the word “died” as in “When my father died ...
  • It is best to tell your child that the deceased has gone to sleep
  • Prevent your children from attending funerals and viewings
  • It is disrespectful to the deceased to attend or celebrate a happy event
  • If you avoid, the pain it will go away
"When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart and you shall see that
in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."  (The Prophet)
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